what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
