I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
