Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I cut my penus on the lid.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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