I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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