you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize