So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
