Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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