hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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