brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
