have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
