Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
