then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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