I have demons in me.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
