he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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