i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
why is half of my head shaved?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
