so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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