i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
