Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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