i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
