Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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