My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
its liver damage thursday
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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