It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize
