maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
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