And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
