Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
