After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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