so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
