Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
