Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
