my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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