i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
