So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
