Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
