i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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