i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
