I think scott just propositioned me for sex
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Randomize