Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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