Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Randomize