okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Randomize
