new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Randomize
