Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize