I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
