i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
