if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize