so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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