so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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