my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
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