he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
