I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
