I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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