you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
