The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
