well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
