So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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