you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize