i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize