4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
