Already got asked if we're dating
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize
