How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
