In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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