I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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