he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
