It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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