Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
