ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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