Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
This is the high leading the old right now
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
