ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
My breasts were aching with rage.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
