I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize